Satisfying your desires is not the key to peace of mind and happiness.
If you are like me, you have lost track of how many times you thought in disbelief about how much you thought that you must have something material or some kind of experience – this is a desire like “I’m going to die.” which can quickly become an obsession. Now you are looking back, and this is just another item on this “wish list” that no longer holds you.
Here’s an example from my life. My first teenage years were difficult.
- I did well in school, but good grades were not what I wanted.
- I wanted to be popular.
- I figured the secret to popularity was to dress in the most stylish clothes of the day.
- I asked my mother many times to let me buy whatever I wanted.
Finally, disgruntled, she wrote my name on her credit card at the hippest department store in town.
I remember my solo shopping trips, mixing skirts, shirts, and sweaters. Then at home, I spent hours arranging my new purchases in different combinations so that I didn’t have to wear the same outfit twice in two weeks.
I was well dressed, but that didn’t give me what I wanted. The popular audience still does not let me into their circle. And so, although I could buy whatever I wanted, I became even more unhappy because I was convinced that dressing well was the key to popularity and that popularity was the only thing that kept me going. will make you happy.
It’s easy for me to look at this young teenage girl and think that her uncontrollable desire to be plausible was really senseless; But the thing is, I can still desire something so much that it feels like a necessity that I have no control over. I see this as more than a preference (like watching a certain TV show). I got the impression that my very happiness depends on the fulfillment of the desire in question.
Here are some of the painful desires that come back to me from time to time:
- I wish to restore my health (I suffer from a chronic disease);
- I want to go with my husband to all the places where we went;
- I want to go on outings as long as I want.
Is there something in your life that you want so badly that you feel like your happiness depends on receiving it?
We tend to think that if we can get what we need or get the right experience, we will be happy about it. But the happiness that comes from fulfilling these desires is short-lived because nothing is eternal. This toy will wear out. This trip to Disneyland is coming to an end. Soon our happiness gives way to a new goal of desire.
Even recovering my health would not have made my life smooth. When I think deeply, I realize that the happiness that depends on getting what I want is not the happiness I seek, because I know it will be temporary. I seek the happiness that comes from being at ease and content with my life as it is, whether my wishes come true or not.
This happiness comes from the realization that life is a mixture of good and bad experiences, successes and disappointments, and easy times and difficult times. This happiness comes from fully dedicating our hearts and minds to each day, even though we know it may be the day when our desires are starved.
This practice confuses me, but I am working on the realization that most of the desires that arise will try to convince me that they are one of those desires to have or to die, but in truth, it is not. I need to be satisfied to be happy.
